GAH! FUCKING JEDWARD!

I managed to avoid these creatures over the last few months fut i got a full on blast of them when they were on that chatshow hosetd by that pointless cunt that cant talk properly... fucking hell theyre awful... if there was ever a reason for a nuclear holocaust its these fuckers... talentless poncey irritating little maggots that they are... but the fact theyre a pair of irritating leprachauns from hell that make me want to stick a pint of guinness through the telly and send louie walsh the fucking bill isnt the worst of it... its the fact that they could single handedly destroy one of the greatest musical nations on the planet..

think of the talent thats fell out of ireland right rory gallagher, the boomtown rats, thin lizzy... some people would say u2 but they also say the world is flat and catholic priests dont fondle choirboys... the dubliners, the undertones, stiff little fingers, dave king out of flogging molly... i could list hundreds... well more like 20... ish maby 25... and its not just that irelands inspired great music like the pogues , the dropkick murphys, the mahones and so on and these creepy little bastards could piss all over that...

fucking wankers... with their shit haircuts... and their fat mother... i hope they die in some horrific way... cant be arsed to think up a fitting way but hopefully itll be brutal.

I've went down the dip... sorry

Disregard that last entry... i was still ratted from new year... it was a shit new year actually but i still managed to drink a bit too mutch... anyway it was fucking cockwash avert your eyes and watch this space instead i promise ill be a good boy and do a good job this year

this year:

More: hard hitting exposes like santa turning out to be an elf shagging smackhead

Less: Slightly depressing drunken ramblings that would but a caffine riddled 10 year old with insomnia to sleep

Happy New Year... I'm Going to Hell

Having finally left the toilet after shitting my bodyweight in guinness and undercooked parmos i think its time for my first post of 2010. yes i know noone reads this shit but i like to maintain the illusion they do in my head, it helps feed my ego which frankly has seen better days. anyway, on new years eve i had a revelation, something life changing and now im going to become a priest. that is become a priest on friday nights. i see nights out these days as boring monotonous things, drink a few cans, go out, drink a few pints, get threatened by a bouncer, drink a bit more, go to tesco for vodka, drink that, pass out, wake up in the cells. and now i plan to break the monotony and change the way i look at things and the way people look at me. im going to dress as a priest.

think about it, how easy is it to fool a pisshead? the worst thatll happen is someone will think your out on a fancy dress night, whereas if you get lucky some girls might get you to break ya vow of celibacy. and i reckon i could derive an endless amount of joy from banishing random people to the 9th circle of hell. i dont really know where im going with this but ill post a report on my first night out with the clergy.

actually after thinking about it for a wee while ive realised the worst that can happen is someone shouting paedophile and then kicking the shit out of me...

Santa Exchanges Presents For Sexual Favours.... FACT!

The dirty old bastard eh? coming round your house in the dead of night... necking half a bottle of whisky and some biscuits you left near the fireplace then (and its in a song so it must be true) tongueing your mothers tonsils.. what a cunt... plus he likes to sit kids in his crotch... face it the world has never seen a bigger sexual deviant than santa... and we put up with all this for a poxy gamecube...

one elf i talked to told me about how santa enslaved his entire race forcing them to work in his factories and cotton fields... rexil who has requested his name be changed to protect his identity and from this point on will be referred to as john mentioned how santa stumbled into the elves squalid slum one night drunk and demanded oral sex from at least 6 of the poor little green fuckers before going on a shooting rampage then taking a dump on the floor.

elves arnt the only ones that have been traumatized by this fat bearded menace... little jonny aged 6 from kingston upon hull told me of the night he heard a noise and came downstairs all excited expecting to see santa.. only to find the fat old fucker dresses in the stockings he and his sister had put up that very night, wanking over a christmas card with the tree jammed halfway up his jacksie

i say santa should be put on the sex offenders register immediately... then dragged into the town square and castrated before a swift but brutal public execution...

merry christmas... sleep safe.
Ziggy

London Has Ruined My Fucking Life.

I've just spent a fortnight in that cockney infested, shandy drinking pit of depravity.... and despite its nasty habit of pulling its kex down and taking a dump all over my childhood and everything i hold dear i did love it. I was on the piss every night, i had something resembling a job to go to, i met a load of new people, i saw some crazy shit, ate in semi-swanky restaurants (£15 for a steak is fucking highbrow alright)... there was always something to do.... and ive just spent my first 2 days back in Hartlepool sitting on a beanbag in my pants watching UK Gold and eating pastys.

Its fucked up my life something awful because bafore all this shite i was happy blowing a few days of life on a thundercats marathon and a couple of bottles of jack daniels but now i want to go out and do exciting things... i want to punch a fucking grizzly bear in the face... i want to call gordon brown a cycloptic skirt wearing bagpipe blowing cunt and then use a dulux colour chart to gague how angry he is bu the colour of his bloated stroke victim shaped meathead..... oh and i want to knock fuck out of morrissey with a leg of lamb but thats always been an ambition of mine so it dosent really count.


oh and i was sharing a room with 5 french girls for a couple of nights too... that was a highlight.

Hello there you wee miscreant.

I'm actually planning on writing on this fucker at some point, no shit... Only last night was the first time I was in my own bed in over 2 weeks... so I'm in no real condition to type... I promise I'ill post when the wankers cramp goes though.

Lots of love and a million kisses

Ziggy.