Santa Exchanges Presents For Sexual Favours.... FACT!

The dirty old bastard eh? coming round your house in the dead of night... necking half a bottle of whisky and some biscuits you left near the fireplace then (and its in a song so it must be true) tongueing your mothers tonsils.. what a cunt... plus he likes to sit kids in his crotch... face it the world has never seen a bigger sexual deviant than santa... and we put up with all this for a poxy gamecube...

one elf i talked to told me about how santa enslaved his entire race forcing them to work in his factories and cotton fields... rexil who has requested his name be changed to protect his identity and from this point on will be referred to as john mentioned how santa stumbled into the elves squalid slum one night drunk and demanded oral sex from at least 6 of the poor little green fuckers before going on a shooting rampage then taking a dump on the floor.

elves arnt the only ones that have been traumatized by this fat bearded menace... little jonny aged 6 from kingston upon hull told me of the night he heard a noise and came downstairs all excited expecting to see santa.. only to find the fat old fucker dresses in the stockings he and his sister had put up that very night, wanking over a christmas card with the tree jammed halfway up his jacksie

i say santa should be put on the sex offenders register immediately... then dragged into the town square and castrated before a swift but brutal public execution...

merry christmas... sleep safe.
Ziggy

London Has Ruined My Fucking Life.

I've just spent a fortnight in that cockney infested, shandy drinking pit of depravity.... and despite its nasty habit of pulling its kex down and taking a dump all over my childhood and everything i hold dear i did love it. I was on the piss every night, i had something resembling a job to go to, i met a load of new people, i saw some crazy shit, ate in semi-swanky restaurants (£15 for a steak is fucking highbrow alright)... there was always something to do.... and ive just spent my first 2 days back in Hartlepool sitting on a beanbag in my pants watching UK Gold and eating pastys.

Its fucked up my life something awful because bafore all this shite i was happy blowing a few days of life on a thundercats marathon and a couple of bottles of jack daniels but now i want to go out and do exciting things... i want to punch a fucking grizzly bear in the face... i want to call gordon brown a cycloptic skirt wearing bagpipe blowing cunt and then use a dulux colour chart to gague how angry he is bu the colour of his bloated stroke victim shaped meathead..... oh and i want to knock fuck out of morrissey with a leg of lamb but thats always been an ambition of mine so it dosent really count.


oh and i was sharing a room with 5 french girls for a couple of nights too... that was a highlight.

Hello there you wee miscreant.

I'm actually planning on writing on this fucker at some point, no shit... Only last night was the first time I was in my own bed in over 2 weeks... so I'm in no real condition to type... I promise I'ill post when the wankers cramp goes though.

Lots of love and a million kisses

Ziggy.